#46 Change of plans
Thank you so much!
We're the trainee unit, Lina and Yui!
See you next time!
MEETING ROOM
It seems that we can't expect much from your own shows.
In particular, Yui's fanbase isn't growing.
Of course, she is new to the team.
They'll come around.
It just shows how remarkable the GOKUDOLS were to rise so quickly.
That's because we spent a year being programmed as idol robots.
Maybe I don't match well with the GOKUDOLS' fans.
Should I just give up?
What are you saying? It's too early for that.
Recently, I was scouted in front of the theater.
What? You were scouted?
THREE YEARS AGO
Boss! Another girl got poached!
It was our number two, Reika!
Dammit! Our business will go under like this!
Was it the Daidai Family again?
Yes! They're really--
Harassing everyone just because they're protected by the main family!
I've had enough of them. This means war. Get ready.
Are you serious?
It's the Daidai Family.
Are we really taking on the main arm of the head family?
I don't care! You're yakuza, not wimps! Fight like men, assholes!
Understood!
Let's show them Inugane Group's strength!
We'll prepare for battle!
Which agency is it? Is it a big one?
I don't know all those companies, but the conditions were good.
So, probably.
I see. A big agency may pose a problem.
And what do you want to do, Yui?
I...
I get the picture. Let's talk about this later.
Kinoshita and Yui, please leave the room.
Investigate it! I won't forgive a poached member!
Boss, please calm down!
A big agency could crush us!
I don't care! You're yakuza, not wimps! Assholes!
And now we're yakuza again!
Got it! We'll prepare for battle... I mean, the investigation!
Have you decided?
We could give you your debut right away.
Right now, I can tell you our president is an industry titan
with significant influence and assets.
I'm sorry. Please give me more time.
I understand. We'd appreciate a swift decision.
Sorry, dear.
Forget auditions, let's poach their members.
Poach them?
We can acquire talent and damage our opponent at the same time.
Kill two birds with one stone.
I see. Wonderful idea! They've got a new trainee, too.
I'll approach her tomorrow.
This is nice tea, isn't it?
I got the leaves from my mother's home.
I'll kill them all! This is war!
MANAGER, TEPPEI OKAMOTO
I got this from Yui. It's his business card.
Strange, isn't it? It's only got a phone number.
This might be the work of another yakuza group.
Follow Yui or whatever, but find them. I'll crush them.
If we lose her, you'll all pay dearly.
TRAINING CAMP ROOM
So, what will you do, Yui?
Will you transfer?
I'm still thinking.
But you wanted to join the GOKUDOLS in the first place, right?
Yes. But the longer I'm here, the more I see it's not for me.
I feel like something is fundamentally different between us.
Did she notice?
What could make me the right fit for the GOKUDOLS?
Be reborn as a man and...
...get a sex change!
You'll get there eventually, Yui.
I'm back!
Look what I've got! A limited edition of Barley shochu!
Wow! Leader, you're awesome!
That's the stuff!
You two can drink it on the roof.
You're not going to drink?
I need to talk with Yui.
Alcohol?
Ah, that's right! Every now and then.
Idols have to deal with stress, too! It's normal!
This tastes amazing, huh?
Drinking on the roof feels great!
Well, should we go back now?
OK.
But I'll go pee first. I can't hold it anymore.
Me, too. Me, too.
Here we go.
Hey! What the hell are you doing?
What? What's wrong?
What yakuza would pee squatting? I'll kill you!
I'm sorry!
But... how?
Are you stupid? Why should I have to teach you?
You shouldn't worry so much, Yui!
We had fun together, didn't we? Everybody loves you!
Hang in there a little more.
I'll be killed if you quit!
Aily, you really care about me.
My sisters are angels! I can't just quit!
I'll tell the others, too!
See? Just imagine that you have a dick! Easy-peasy!
Jut your hips forward, asshole! Show your masculinity!
Just fire it out! Come on!
Remember how it used to feel, dammit!
Huh?
-Yui! Wait! -It's not what it looks like!
What...?
Listen to me, Yui.
What...?
#48 That's great!!
-It's not like that, Yui! -Listen to me!
This is... uh... part of our idol training!
What... What do you mean?
Come on! Our fans are mainly men, right?
Yes.
So we have to know how men feel!
That makes a little sense.
But why... peeing?
-Don't make fun of excretion! -Huh?
A human's four basic needs!
Food, sleep, sex, and excretion!
Food and sleep are the same for men and women.
With no dick, sex is out. So what experience remains?
That's right! Excretion! Don't you get it?
Who would get it? It's usually just three!
I get it!
You do?
I always knew your charm wasn't so easily acquired!
I'll do it, too!
What?
Wait, wait!
Stop it!
Why? Let me do it, too!
I want to experience men's excretion!
Wait! Seriously, stop!
Why can't I do it?
Well, it's because we're in charge of excretion, so you don't need to.
Then... I'll be in charge of sex!
Hey!
I'll get surgery on this!
Surgery? Being a man won't help! Put down your skirt!
I'll experience the need for sex, then get surgery to go back!
That's crazy!
It's not that simple!
I know that! I just want to understand the male sex drive!
You're wrong if you think you can get that feeling through surgery!
Really? You know about that?
Huh?
No, I don't.
You're such a god! You know everything!
NEXT DAY
I'm terribly sorry...
but I'm staying in the GOKUDOLS.
Amazing. So Natsuko Tanaka is the president?
Why?
What's good about that shitty group?
You'll regret this!
INUGANE GROUP
Boss, I got their pictures!
It's that damn hag!
Natsuko!
I'll bring them here now.
#49 Terrible love
You!
What are you doing? Don't you know who I am?
Shut up, hag! Celebrity or not,
nobody messes with the Inugane Group and gets away with it!
The Inugane Group?
Wait a minute! Inugane is my--
You tried to steal our girl, didn't you? I'll kill you!
What? Are you talking about Yui?
Who else is there, hag?
So the GOKUDOLS are Inugane's?
That's what I'm telling you!
Damn, you talk back a lot, old hag!
Shut up!
Natsuko!
You dare hit her? What are you, yakuza?
We are yakuza! Isn't it obvious?
Boss! They're here!
I softened her up for you.
Natsuko!
What?
Boss!
Does my work pain you this much?
We could have talked it out without doing this!
-I... -Boss, what's wrong?
You're more important than anything!
I misunderstood you, honey! I'm sorry!
Calm down, Boss! What are you--
You don't need to apologize!
I love you!
I will love you forever, dammit!
I promised that I won't forgive anyone who hurts you!
I'm a damn asshole!
My poochie!
Natsuko...
Huh? What is this?
#50 Brilliant love
I love you to death.
Then your love will end if you die?
Even if my life ends, my love for you won't.
But what if I'm not with you in your next life?
I'll wait until the next-next life.
-Oh, I'm happy! -Me, too.
Why must we watch this?
I'm gonna be sick!
But it's hard to believe that these girls used to be men.
I know! Thailand is a holy place where dreams come true.
Hey! Sing the new song, bastards, or I'll kill you!
Yes, Boss!
"GALAXY CLASS LOVE"
It's a song from Sensei to Madam Natsuko! Please listen!
Darling!
Is my love for you middleweight class?
Heavyweight class?
No, no, no! It's galaxy class!
Heavyweight's already plenty!
No way, it's galaxy class!
My heart feels like exploding Every time I think of you
Dynamite level?
Ballistic-missile level?
It's on a big-bang level!
I'm fine with ballistic-missile level, darling.
Oh, not ballistic missile, please. I'm afraid to cross the sea!
All 157 of your moles are beautiful
-Like stars in outer space -You know all of my moles?
Of course I do! I know every inch of your body!
How many thousands of times have I had sex with you?
Come on, don't say that in front of the kids.
I don't care! I universe-love you!
I love you more!
I love you more and more!
Ugh.
I want to throw up.
Why did you stop singing, bastards? Sing something romantic!
Yes, Boss!
Turn around! Don't look at us.
I... I really didn't know that she was your wife.
Even then... you can't hit a girl, can you? Bastard.
A girl?
I'm terribly sorry! Please spare my life!
I'm not going to take your life. I'm not a devil, you know?
Really? Boss, thank you!
You're not a bad person.
But those damn arms are bad.
What?
I spoke to a doctor I know. You'll have a little surgery tomorrow.
Wait a second, Boss!
By the way, do you like boobs?
I... What?
You like them?
Why, suddenly...
You like them?
Yes...
THAILAND
The surgery's a success.
It was an amazing surgery, Doctor.
The best boobs I ever created.
#51 Surrounded by kindness
The GOKUDOLS will help solve teen girls' problems!
"GOKUDOLS Consultation Room!"
We'll solve more problems today!
Please don't blurt out anything strange today.
Let's start with the first problem!
Ugh, what a pain.
Hello?
Hello.
Can you introduce yourself?
Yes. I live in Kanagawa. My name is Saya.
Thank you for calling.
Thanks for having me.
What problem do you want to solve?
Um, it's embarrassing, but I'm really fat.
I want to be like the GOKUDOLS.
But you're still in high school. I'd stay away from strict dieting.
Self-confidence is key!
That's true. And chubby girls are popular nowadays.
Really?
It's true! Be confident!
OK.
OK, commercial break!
Well, how do I put this? I told you to play it safe,
but too safe is boring.
You think so? What should we do, then?
Try and give more realistic, specific and useful sorts of solutions.
Understood.
Let's move on to the next call. Hello?
Hello.
Can you introduce yourself?
Oh, hello! I'm a first-year high-school student, Sachiko.
What's your problem, Sachiko?
I get bullied at school.
The scary kid in my class takes my money, hits me...
What should I do?
A realistic and useful solution...
Sachiko, right?
Yes.
Is the kid who bullies you the strongest in school?
Huh? Well, maybe not the strongest.
I see.
Expenses and violence. We need at least one of these gone.
What? I suppose...
If you're going to use money,
use it to hire someone stronger to protect you.
That's the standard way.
Huh? What do you mean?
Hey, hey. What is she saying? They're at it again!
Hold on, Aily.
You might give our agency a call. They'll solve it swiftly.
Agency?
No, no! It's a...
The GOKUDOLS Consultation Agency! Yay!
Huh?
Let's put on some music!
Hold on, Aily. What was that?
What did you say? I don't get it.
How is that realistic? She's just a high-school student!
I'm sorry.
What do you want us to do?
I mean, don't preach, but try to sound like a big sister, or teacher.
You know how it works! Please. We could lose this program, you know.
OK! We'll do our best.
OK, now for our next caller.
Hello?
It's my turn next, huh? What do I do?
I'm Yumi from Osaka.
What's your problem?
I want to break up with my boyfriend.
Oh, dear. Is there a problem between you two?
I can't stand how he smells. What should I do?
Who cares! Pain-in-the-ass teens.
Realistic, specific and useful life lessons.
Can you explain the smell?
Um... I don't really understand.
He looks clean, but he smells when up close.
A-ha! I see, I see. Girl!
Use the power of love and wash it all off!
If it's all covered up, he's bound to get some smegma!
Nothing wrong with that! Sympathize with the guy who has smegma!
-I used to have-- -Hey!
Huh? What are you talking about? This is about his bad breath.
Commercial break!
It's been a long time, Ryo.
So, that's how you thought of me? Thank you for understanding.
I wasn't hated by you, was I?
Now I can cross over into the light without regrets.
Thank you. I'd love to stick with you in the next life.
#52 Interview
We're shooting tomorrow and you've still got no plan?
Nobody's willing to be featured after so many places we covered shut down.
Seriously?
The show's about finding "hidden tastes," but good tastes don't hide.
Don't blame our program! Stupid shop owners.
This program was your idea, you stupid producer!
Well, just take the GOKUDOLS somewhere.
Understood.
"Search for Downtown Tastes!" We have a special program today.
We'll see the GOKUDOLS' day-to-day lives!
-What? -That's crazy!
Bro, this is bad!
This is fucking bad!
What is this stupid program?
Well, we heard that you live on the top floor of this theater.
We've been imprisoned.
That's true! But this is too sudden.
Come on, it's fine! Everyone's doing this.
Wait, wait!
Well, this is great! But isn't it a bit small for three people?
We're girls, so it's enough.
Besides, we feel closer in this small room.
La-la-la...
But what a strange layout. A sink inside the room?
We always wash our hands to avoid giving each other colds.
We're girls, so we always want to be clean.
That's how we bathe, though.
I see. That's important, indeed.
What? Is this... an IV?
Uh... That's...
We aren't properly fed, so we get nutrition from it!
Always be hungry for more!
Oh, that's the one we used for the serious-injury cosplay.
There's a bottle here. Do you girls drink shochu?
No, no! It's a vase. We reused our manager's bottle.
Hm? Hanafuda cards? Rare in this age! You girls play?
No, no, no! Idols don't play this kind of game!
We love flowers, so we collected... them.
La-la...
Uh-oh! A razor, too?
Hey! Women have secrets too, you know.
Argh! One annoying excuse after another!
Now for the next room!
"Mental gym"? What's that?
Mental fortitude's important.
Whoa! Sounds interesting!
-Let's go inside! -Wait!
Huh? What? What kind of gym is this?
Um...
Kaz! It's your turn!
Well, when we're feeling worn down...
we watch movies or play games to recover our mental strength.
I see! And what are these helmets?
A device that screws with our brainwaves for better brainwashing. Damn you!
They're things... for VR games.
And here's the "training room." You must practice dance moves here!
-Let's go-- -No! Not this place!
Come on, it's fine!
Excuse me!
I'm sorry. Forgive me.
What...? What was that?
See?
La-la-la...
Huh?
Can I even explain this?